I’ve heard and seen many stereotypes of the archetypical gay best friend. To find out if my perceptions are true and to see what my peers think of the gbf, I polled a few people. I asked the new and old executive boards (11 members not including me) of my collegiate service organization, “what word would you use to describe a gay best friend?” In word cloud form, here is what they said:
The larger font indicates a higher frequency of occurrence of the word (e.g., honest and sassy each appeared twice). Just based on a sample of 11 individuals, there were trends among what characteristics were perceived. This exercise shows that the defining features of a gay best friend are fashion consciousness, sassiness and playing the supporting role. My peers may be biased since I was in the room and could have served as their token example of a gay best friend in selecting a word. But nonetheless, the results show what I have seen in the media, namely movies and television. Think of Marc, the personal assistant in the TV series Ugly Betty, who acts as the fashion forward, cheeky counterpart to the straight female, Amanda. This is just one quintessential example; there are myriad more.
Now, while these are stereotypes, it is important to note that they are all positive attributes, in my opinion. I personally love being known for my sense of fashion, my frequent quips and my general willingness to help my friends, especially if they are straight females. I recently attended a talk at the University of Michigan given by David Halperin on his book “How to Be Gay.” He discussed how these often disliked descriptors should be in a way celebrated and accepted as linking factors of the gay culture. Specifically, he wrote:
“The great value of traditional gay male culture resides in some of its most despised and repudiated features: gay male femininity, diva-worship, aestheticism*, snobbery*, drama*, adoration of glamor, caricature of women, and obsession with the figure of the mother.” (38)
*I equate aestheticism to fashion and snobbery/drama to sassiness.
This is just the tip of the iceberg. In future posts, I will reference these gay male cultural norms as well as others, both positively and negatively perceived. For example, while I may enjoy being known for my attention to fashion, others may consider such a fixation to be borderline shallow.
The Gay Best Friend 