Building upon my last post about the “accessorization” of gay males in media, I wanted to give a personal testimony based on an actual experience that I had. A few weeks ago, I was with my friends at Necto, a night club in Ann Arbor, which has a pride night. This is a time when homosexuals (though mostly gay men) come together to drink, dance and generally have a great time. However, there is also the ubiquitous presence of the straight female, commonly known as a “fag hag*” or “fruit fly*”, who accompanies gay men at the club and bar.
Now, I was with some friends when we were stopped by two women. One of the girl’s eyes became inordinately wide and her demeanor completely changed; she became super excited and happy… to see me. She explained two things (1) how she already had a “gay husband” as she referred to him; and (2) how she was looking for a new “gay best friend.”
You can probably guess where this story is going. She then told me that I would be perfect – how I was cute and nicely dressed, and conversely how her “gay husband” was not that attractive. I was both flattered and taken aback by this offer. Who wouldn’t want to be seen as attractive? However, she doesn’t even know me personally, yet she wants me as her gay best friend.
Aside from the fact that this seemed like a bizarre conversation to be having with a stranger, it is interesting to me the distinct roles of the “gay husband” and the “gay best friend.” The former seems to play the supportive quotidian role while the latter is necessary for being the arm candy that compliments the straight female during outings and shopping trips, for example.
Thus, it appears that the concept of the gay best friend is not simply something that is observed from a far on a television screen, but it is pervasive in real life.
*the terms “fag hag” and “fruit fly” are important to discuss in terms of their pros and cons in usage, but beyond the scope of this particular post.
The Gay Best Friend 